Understanding your values

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Understanding your values

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This blog was originally published in 2025 as Identifying your values by Hannah Longley, Registered Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist. It has since been reviewed, updated and re-published as Understanding your values in December 2025 by Ilia Lindsay, Head of Psychology.

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Values are the qualities and principles that we consider important in life. They act as internal guides, shaping how we make decisions, interact with others, and approach challenges. When we live in alignment with our values, it supports wellbeing, resilience, and overall life satisfaction. Conversely, when our actions conflict with our values, it can create stress, dissatisfaction, and internal conflict (Schwartz, 2018; Fowers & Davidov, 2021).
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For adolescents, understanding their values is particularly important. This stage of development involves exploring identity, testing boundaries, and seeking autonomy. Values help young people make sense of who they are, what matters to them, and how they want to relate to others (Eccles & Gootman, 2018). For teachers, recognising their own values - and the values of their students - can guide classroom interactions, foster a supportive school culture, and help model authentic decision-making.

So how do we work out what is important? What we value?

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Step 1: Reflect on when you feel at your best

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Start by thinking about times when things felt positive or manageable in your life. You don’t need a time without challenges - just moments when you felt capable, connected, or content. Ask yourself:

• What was happening around me?
• How was I behaving, thinking, and feeling?
• What qualities or principles were guiding me in that moment?

For example:

• Feeling your best when helping others may suggest that kindness or service is a key value.
• Feeling strong when pursuing a goal might indicate determination or growth.

Next, consider challenging moments. What would have helped? What values were missing or compromised? For instance, struggling in an environment with little trust might highlight the importance of integrity or respect.

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Remember: There are no “better” or “worse” values. Values are personal and help create meaningful relationships and environments.

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Step 2: Identify which values matter most

It can be tempting to list many values, but focusing on around five core values helps provide clarity and direction. Core values act as anchors that guide your decisions, behaviour, and interactions consistently across life contexts - school, work, and relationships.

For example:

• A student may value curiosity, honesty, and friendship.
• A teacher may value integrity, collaboration, and empathy.

Focusing on these top values supports decision-making, builds resilience, and helps maintain alignment with what is meaningful, even under stress (Fowers & Davidov, 2021; Ryan & Deci, 2019).

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Step 3: Reflect on how values show up in life

Once your core values are clear, ask yourself:

1. How do I show this value to myself?
   
   • Self-respect might look like setting boundaries, prioritising rest, or practising positive self-talk.
2. How do I show this value to others?
   
   • Kindness could appear as helping classmates, listening without judgment, or offering support.
3. How is this value shown to me by others?
   
   • Feeling respected, trusted, or supported reinforces the value’s importance in relationships.
4. How is this value reflected in school or work?
   
   • Collaboration as a value may be demonstrated through group work, mutual support, or shared problem-solving.
5. What happens when this value is compromised?
   
   • Feeling dishonest, disrespected, or unsupported can create discomfort and signal a need for reflection or adjustment.

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Why values matter
For adolescents, values help navigate identity development, providing a framework for autonomy, moral reasoning, and self-expression (Eccles & Gootman, 2018). When students can articulate their values, they make more intentional choices, build resilience, and maintain wellbeing even in challenging social or academic situations.

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For teachers, awareness of personal values informs classroom management, communication, and role modelling. When staff act consistently with their values, they create environments that are predictable, respectful, and emotionally safe- supporting both student engagement and staff wellbeing (Ryan & Deci, 2019).

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By reflecting on and prioritising values, teachers and students alike can make choices that align with who they are, fostering authenticity, purpose, and a positive, supportive school culture.

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References: 

Eccles, J. S., & Gootman, J. A. (2018). Community programs to promote youth development. National Academies Press.

Fowers, B. J., & Davidov, B. (2021). The psychology of human values. Routledge.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2019). Brick by brick: The origins, development, and future of self-determination theory. Advances in Motivation Science, 6, 111–156. https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.adms.2019.01.001

Schwartz, S. H. (2018). Values: Research, reflections, and applications. Psychological Review, 125(5), 1–27. https://doi.org/10.1037/rev0000119

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